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The stone displays the eye sockets on either side of a pointed skull, resembling that of a creature such as a fish, bird or mammal. Three crests could be those at the rear of a head such as that of a young dynosaur. If rotated through a right angle it can be imagined to be the three-toed leg of a prehistoric foot. The unique feature of this foot would be the upward-pointing eyes. Such an animal would transport itself on one foot, as if it were a pogo stick. During its jump it would orient itself horizontally in order to survey the area before using a jet propulsion method to throw it in the desired direction to find a mate or to find food.

Such an animal is not found on planet earth on account of the strong gravitational force and the Newtonian physics that cause such creatures to land on their head rather than their foot, at debilitating speed. This confirms that the animal was an alien.

Finding evidence of alien life on planets is not new, since the discovery of Earth type fossils on Mars. We can now ask ourselves "What is the significance of this discovery?" Did the monoped originate as a species on Earth? Unlikely, because Earth's gravity has always been too severe. Did the fossil arrive within a large meteorite? Possibly, but the stone does look very similar in composition to flints found in Hampshire. The conclusion must be that the monoped actually lived on earth, in this one-legged, two-eyed form: even if its life in that form was very brief. My two guesses are a) A dinosaur laid an egg that hatched into a non-sustainable mutant, or b) That its adult relatives populated a star, planet or rock elsewhere in space and that the monopod was transported to Earth on a meteorite in the form of a minute 'dna seed' that could exist millenia in space, then survive the entry into the earth's atmosphere and landing. The 'seed' would possibly be one of many billions and this particular one found sufficient nutrient for growing to its monoped state but was not able to reproduce.

And what of the other billions of extra-terrestrial dna seeds? We have struck upon the start of Darwinian evolution. Over billions of years the Earth has been 'seeded' with diverse micro organisms and stemcells. Some survived and life began on Earth. Perhaps, in the later millenia, higher intelligence beings on other planets were able to produce 'designer dna seeds' with greater likelihood of leading to species in their own form. This gives a scientific explanation to the evolution of the humanoid species but also allows us to think that Man is not a genetic 'mistake', but was designed by an extra-terrestrial 'god' race.

Means for Repair of the Economy of a Country or Region (from a recent GB patent application)

Means are described by which the economy of a country or region may be transformed through enabling more persons to buy their own homes (particularly "first-time" buyers.

Means are described by which the economy of a country or region may be transformed through enabling more first-time buyers to buy their own homes. This liquidity in the property market will spread to feelings of well-being and confidence through the community as a whole.

Background

Bank lending has stopped due to a previous unsustainable surge.
Individuals have borrowed instead of saving, the borrowing habit has become an
addiction and they have lost faith in an economy which does not enable them to
persist with their habit.

The housing market in particular depends on borrowing and the requirement for a
larger deposit now precludes many, particularly

A scheme whereby loans are provided to some first-time buyers of a first dwelling in order to increase a deposit for mortgage.

>A scheme whereby grants are provided to some first-time buyers of a first dwelling in order to increase a deposit for mortgage.

>A scheme whereby loans are provided to some persons who have insufficient deposit for a mortgage on their second dwelling.

"first-time" buyers from buying. Also,
those who sell a house purchased in the last few years, sometimes find that the sell-
ing price is insufficient to provide a deposit for another house.

Even those who have saved, or can borrow money from relatives for their deposit, are
reluctant to buy because they are uncertain of the future of the housing market.
Increasing activity in the housing market will enable those who need to re-locate for
employment, or those who need to upsize or downsize their accommodation, to do
so. The market sectors for furnishings, white goods, entertainment systems etc
would find increased trade. People could move more easily from regions of unem-
ployment to those where they are able to find a job. There would be fewer people on
benefits.

Description

The invention consists of means by which couples and individuals are encouraged to buy dwellings. The first-time buyer, or those with negative equity, would be given financial incentive to enable them to purchase a property with a proper deposit and mortgage. Loans or grants under such a scheme would lubricate the housing market, suddenly giving confidence and price stability. In computer jargon a bootstrap is the simplest form of software that enables further layers of more complicated software to take control, for example by setting up an address structure for the hard disc, read/ write memory and other accessories in a computer prior to the operating system (eg Windows) being loaded. The scheme can be designed to ensure that money injected into the economy, whilst going through banks and building societies, lubricates consumer activity instead of being used as a cushion to protect against the results of past mistakes. It is a means whereby financial advantage is given to the most deserving parts of the community rather than giving it to the financial institutions and the rich and hoping that it will filter down to the proletariat.

Research will be necessary in order to ascertain the suitability of schemes for particular countries and environments: statistics are usually available for home availability and prices and of disposable incomes. Estate Agents could provide the figures for potential uptake of loans and grants, building societies could predict the numbers of applicants who could qualify any set of conditions. The advantages can be tested against other part ownership schemes or housing association schemes.

Detailed description

A simple example of the method would consist of the Government giving first-time buyers a voucher equivalent to a 25% deposit on the property of their choice. The method can be refined by applying it to particular groups by demographic or tests of "deservedness"or by draws and other random-selection devices. The method can be conditional upon financial awareness and proven ability to save and to work in employment, thus encourageing a more responsible lifestyle in the young. The money equivalent of the deposit can remain a 0% "loan"for a qualifying period during which time the recipient must obey particular conditions; the forfeit for transgression may consist of measures from imposing an interest rate to the "loan"to requiring that the loan be repayed within a certain time or that it be repaid on sale of the property. The method could be introduced piecemeal to test its validity, being monitored through the affect on estate agents, building societies and banks activity. The offer can also be "time limited"to ensure a quick response and to enable the terms of the offer to be adjusted from time to time, or for the offer to be withdrawn when the economy has recovered and the nations savings habit has returned. Proper rules of judicious lending would apply - stable relationships, regular employment, evidence of financial prudence, good health, good character etc.; would be insisted upon. A second marketing strategy would employ "Cash Multipliers"by which the voucher could be for multiplying the applicant's available deposit by a factor "up to TEN times". This again would be subject to conditions that would define the actual x2, x3, x4, x5 assistance and address whether the sum is a grant, or part grant/part loan. One could wish that the method will result in the housing market to recover and reduce the numbers of property with negative equity. This would reduce the number of repossesions. However, a first-time buyer who is repossessed could also be considered for the scheme in some form.

The scheme will be exempted from Human Rights and Discrimination laws since the imposition of conditions is, of essence, discriminatory. Building Societies and Banks must be allowed to make decisions based on risk and good practice alone.

Some of the countries for which the patent will be useful are: N. America, Europe, Russia, Australia, China, Japan, Taiwan, India.

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Claims

A scheme whereby loans are provided to some first-time buyers of a first dwelling in order to increase a deposit for mortgage.
A scheme whereby grants are provided to some first-time buyers of a first dwelling in order to increase a deposit for mortgage.
A scheme whereby loans are provided to some persons who have insufficient deposit for a mortgage on their second dwelling.

A Non-Entertaining Article
21st March 2009

Our group were asked to write something entertaining for our homework (I did
question whether our usual homework was not entertaining, the answer was
unintelligible). I like to find a different slant to subjects, or to write
something completely different. This is my idea for a boring article that is
intended to fail by becoming interesting. Here goes:

I suppose one of the most boring books I have is one that I saved from
university in 1960. It is called Physical and Chemical Constants by Kaye
and Laby. I looked it up when I was designing an airship and finding out
the cost of the required quantity of helium from our local Post Office (they
also sell industrial gases). It costs around £7000 for enough helium to
lift me off the ground up to about 1000 feet. This was considerably cheaper
than the cost of an equivalent number of helium filled party balloons, but
there was the cost of the bag to consider as well. I decided to shelve the
idea when I realised that the prevailing wind would take me to Siberia.

Now chemistry and physics are amongst the most boring subjects known to man,
so I tried applying my Kaye and Laby to find out about Global Warming.
Actually Global Warming and illegal drugs and the effect on your health of
tobacco and negative equity and hedge funds and world recession had not been
invented at the time of publishing of my edition of the book. So, it is
necessary to also consult the internet on these subjects. There is scope
for a wide range of non-entertaining articles. But, with global warming I
can use Kaye and Laby (if I can find the damn thing) to tackle global
warming from first principles.

Oh, by the way, I patented a means for tackling the world recession last
Sunday (you can now patent things any day of the year except during the
hours from 1 am to 3 pm), but I don't want to entertain you with that in
this article. This article is about the boring subject of global warming
and carbon footprints and the way that the World will be uninhabitable
within the next four generations. I won't make it more boring by writing
about my patent for how to cure global warming.

So, about global warming, the easiest information to get from Kaye and Laby
is the chemical composition of the atmosphere and its physical constants (or
at least what it was in 1960'ish). Several multi-million pound committees
have jetted around the world and invented our carbon footprints. That has
been simplified for us to understand by telling us that by burning coal and
oil and gas we are each producing several tons of carbon dioxide which is
going up into the atmosphere and forming an absorber for the sun's heat that
will make the planet get hotter and hotter.

Now I'm a bit worried about breathing too, since my carbon footprint is
somewheres above my head and contains tons of oxygen that I would prefer at
ground level. That made me start thinking about where to find the best
oxygen air so that I can advise my friends and family of the best place to
re-locate to. It is a well proven fact that a brick sinks when placed in a
bucket of water. Kaye and Laby can be consulted to find out what the
constituents of air are (or were in the 1960's) and decide which are the
heavier brick-like gases, which are the middle-weight water-like gases and
which are the football-like floating gases. We shall then be able to place
our sample of air in a large bucket, wait for it to settle out, heaviest at
the bottom, lightest at the top, and then breath from the optimum level.

Chemistry and physics combined in the hypothesis named after the stoned
fruit from Isreal or Spain. Avogadro's Hypothesis enables you to predict
the heavyness of gases from their molecular weight. And you read the
chemical formula and work out the molecular weight from Kaye and Laby. We
can now try to explain why clouds, consisting of water vapour, do not fall
down.The chemical formula of water (and water vapour) is H2O, H weighs 1 and
O weighs 8 so two parts H and one part O weighs 10. On the other hand
oxygen on its own is O2, weighing 16, so we find oxygen below the clouds.
Carbon dioxide, CO2, is rather heavier than clouds, although C only weighs 6,
adding O2 (20) brings its total to 26, Nitrogen (N2) comes out as (2 times 7) or 14.

Page 154 states that, on a dry day, the earth's atmosphere is 78% nitrogen,
21% oxygen, 0.9% argon (Ar weighs 18) and 0.03% carbon dioxide (to make the
figures add up its 78.09, 20.95, 0.93 and 0.03). So, we come to the boring
conclusion that the density of a bucket full of dry air will be 14.46, and
that the heavier constituents will sink whilst the lighter ones float, thus
Carbon dioxide (26) will be the brick at the bottom, then Argon (18), then
oxygen (16) then Nitrogen (14). If water vapour (10) were to be present
then it would float on top. This proves that carbon dioxide (22) emitted at
high altitude by jet planes is of much more significance than that emitted
at ground level by humans and cars since the latter can be expected to stay
near the ground for absorption by plants whereas the high up stuff will take
longer to fall down.

My previous article, relating to methane gas emitted by cattle and sheep (1
ton per year each) shows that this is an even more important factor.
Methane is CH4; weighing 10 it would always rise to the top of the bucket
and stay there, together with the light water vapour (10). The methane
already in the atmosphere will not slowly sink to the bottom, it must be
encouraged to combine with the water vapour, or another chemical, to make it
heavier and therefore sink, or be precipitated with the rain. Then again,
that kind of rain might be an antifreeze agent and cause the poles to melt.

The end result - all humans will be extinct by the year 3000. I claim the
prize for the least entertaining article.

It has struck me that some people will not be fully bored by buckets, bricks and sticks. What is needed is Historical dates and Facts.

Avogadro: Lorenzo Romano Amedeo Carlo Avogadro, conte di Quaregna e di Cerreto (1776 - 1856), was born in Turin, Italy, on 9th August, 1776.

The boringness has just been interrupted by a phone call from the Patent Office, advising me of what to do with my application for saving the World Economy, but that was then enterrupted by Jehovah's Witnesses at the front door. I hope that hasn't interested you too much.

So, instead of bricks in a bucket, we can imagine the world's atmosphere to consist of a star field, with each molecule of gas being represented by dots, of different weights according to their molecular weight. The big difference between this starfield and the milky way is that all the 'stars' are at the same distance apart and that the heavier ones are gradually sinking whilst the lighter ones are rising.

The Avogadro Number, the number of such stars in each cubic metre is around 600,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, the gram molecular weight (mole) of a gas occupies about 22 litres in normal conditions of pressure and temperature. Hydrogen (H2) would therefore have a density of 2grams per 22litres whereas air, as discussed, will be 14.6grams per 22 litres so you could lift around 12 grams for each 22 litres of hydrogen. Helium, like Argon, is monatomic so its molecular weight is the same as it atomic weight, ie 2. Thus Helium has about the same lifting power as Hydrogen.

A Registration of Carbon Footprint was delivered to me yesterday. If I use this car for 16000 kilometres this year (10000 miles) then I will emit over 6000 lbs of carbon dioxide (176 grams per kilometre). By the way, this car is more efficient than my last one. I do not know which driver and terrain was used to calculate the 176, or whether my particular diesel fuel and loading will make it better or worse. I do know that it does over 199 miles per gallon on most downhill bits and less than 10 miles per gallon when starting on an uphill stretch. Three mile journeys average about 38mpg, twenty mile journeys nearly 50mpg. So, (typ fuel 85% carbon, 15% hydrogen, density 7 lbs/gal), guessing that 1 gallon of diesel contains 2.7 kg of carbon then, if it is all converted to CO2, it will consume 9.9 kg of oxygen, producing 12.6 kg of CO2. At the same time the 1.05kg of hydrogen will consume 4.2kg of oxygen, producing 5.25kg of water (H20). Now 12600 grams of CO2 divided by 176 grams per litre is 71.6 kilometres (44.7mpg); therefore the DTI figure equates to my driving fairly normally.

What about the 14 kg of oxygen burnt in that 50 miles? Is that not affecting the health of the oxygen-breathing inhabitants? What about the 5.25 kg of water every 50 miles? Is that raising the levels of water in the oceans? Are the clouds of water vapour further increasing global warming and afecting the climate of the major fuel-burning countries?

Did God make a mistake when he made a power-hungry man? Was oil and coal made in the bio-chemical process that produced free oxygen from a planet covered in CO2 and hydrogen, permitting oxygen-breathing animal life? Is it right to reverse that process? How many men did God want on this small planet?

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